How to Consistently Show up For Yourself
Yesterday, my boss (who is also my mother) nominated me for a professional award. She kindly shared the statement she submitted describing me and my accomplishments, and I’ll be honest, the first thing I did was laugh. I asked her “who are you writing about?” I thought there was no way the woman she was describing in that statement was me.
For years, I have struggled to see myself as an accomplished adult. I may have graduated college, successfully executed a few events and projects, and started a lifestyle blog, but most times, I still feel like a kid, just an older one living on my own. I’ve had major imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome- is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubt their accomplishments or talents and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud"
I spend a lot of time planning and working, and once my goal is complete or my interests change, I go right back to planning and working on my potential. It took me until reading my mom’s statement to realize that I have surpassed potential and am now living in purpose.
How do you reach purpose you might ask? Purpose comes as a result of one not-so-simple process… Consistently showing up for yourself!
Below, I’ve shared 5 ways to show up
for yourself and your goals + what to do when
you don’t feel like it!
1. Believe You’re Worthy
You are worthy of everything you can possibly imagine in this life. You can have it all, just not all at the same time! It’s not enough to just dream, you must believe that you deserve goodness, because you may get it, and never truly appreciate it. If you’ve never felt capable of achieving your dreams, it’s time to change your mindset.
Luke 12: 6-7 6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
God has not forgotten you! You are so special to Him and He has a plan for you! That plan is cultivated through your natural interests and talents. You are worthy of your dreams and you must start living like you know it!
2. Dream, Big & in Color!
When people tell you that your dreams are impossible that means it’s impossible for them, not you! I believe in writing your goals down. Make a practical list and work towards executing it each day.
Remember to be flexible with your plans and timelines. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we imagine or when we want, but ALL things can work in your favor if you allow it.
3. Commit to Doing the Work
Self-discipline is hard, but it is necessary. Get honest with yourself about yourself and about how you might be getting in your own way. It can be easy to make excuses for your laziness and procrastination, but if you don’t commit to your goals, you’ll never accomplish them.
Surround yourself with a tribe that will speak words of encouragement over you but will also hold you accountable. Do what you need to do to get “it” done, whatever your it is. Either you’re going to get serious about what you want, or you’re not, it’s just that simple.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
Every win doesn’t have to be monumental or witnessed to be important. Showing up for yourself comes in bit sized pieces each day; it’s a process. Patting yourself on the back doesn’t mean you’re arrogant. You’re strong and you work hard and it’s ok to toot your own sometimes, moderately of course.
5. Spend time Alone
It can be hard to focus on your growth when you’re so invested in other people and their opinions. Spend time alone learning who you are and what you like. Take yourself on a date, take a solo vacation, or simply cook yourself dinner and go read a book. Whatever you need to do to know you, do it! If you don’t know what you want, you’ll spend all your time helping others get what they want.
It’s important to find your own voice, speak up for yourself, and speak loudly!
What to do when showing up for
yourself is too hard?
1. Remember Your Why
Remember that goal list you wrote down or the vision board you created? Pull it out and reflect on it. Mattie James said it best “the results you’re looking for are in the work you’re avoiding.” You have to hold yourself accountable to what you claim you want and do the work to get it, there’s just no way around it. When motivation fails, self-discipline saves!
In your reflection time, you might learn that you need to make new goals or adjust the ones you set and that’s ok. Sometimes things don’t work out, but it’s important to pivot, not quit.
2. Be Kind to Yourself
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Prayerfully, we have time to get to where we want, and we don’t always get it right. Sometimes we make mistakes and that’s ok. You’re allowed to rest and simply enjoy life. We’re not in a rat race and the only person you’re competing with is yourself. There is only one you who does what you do. You need the same grace, encouragement, and forgiveness that you give others. Treat yourself like someone you love, there is only one you!
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Thanks for reading.